Although I met 15 (count ‘em, 15) men at tonight’s speed dating event, because there was such an outcry last time I counted them each as a separate date, I will consider speed dating just ONE date, albeit with 15 guys.
So… I love speed dating. Seriously love it. Second only to a visit to the Whole Foods beauty section as a pick-me-up, speed dating has the power to lift me out of just about any funk. In fact, when I meet and marry my soul mate, I hope that one of our favorite things to do will be to go speed dating together and then snuggle in bed in each others’ arms having a glass of wine and laughing about our speed dating adventures.
Don’t get me wrong, speed dating is the single worst way to meet datable men I’ve ever encountered. But it is still so much fun.
Why?
First, the variety. They say women are not as visual as men, and that’s true (at least for me) in terms of getting turned on sexually, but I’m not sure if it’s true in general. I love a smorgasbord. Speed dating is a parade of eligibility, each doing his tap dance for you. The fact that you’re not at all interested almost doesn’t matter, because every human being has a spark that you can groove on for 5 minutes (mercifully, the length of a speed date). Today I heard an otherwise completely boring dude light up talking about learning how to fly a plane, a guy giggle while he made up a story that he was running away from the cops (he was actually in finance – he needed a diversion) and got into a lively debate about Occupy Wall Street (another finance guy – I found that in general the finance guys were not amused by the Occupy Wall Street developments). In a room top-heavy with lawyers and finance guys, I saw eyes light up at talk of motorcycles, travel and beaches. Everyone has a dream and a passion, and that’s beautiful to watch.
Second, the non-dating possibilities. Because men like to talk about their work a lot, and because they think that being reciprocal means asking about my work, a lot of guys were fascinated to hear I do online marketing. I think I could have probably closed two consulting clients if I really would have pushed it. Besides that, when I told one guy that I’d spent my afternoon trying to strip my front door (I swear, the paint on this door has become my white whale – I can’t seem to get it all off), he gave me a great tip that I can’t wait to try tomorrow (put on the strip stuff, then put on a sheet of newspaper, then more strip stuff). How cool is that? Where would I have learned that besides speed dating?
Third, when you speed date more than once, you start to meet up with people you’ve already speed dated with. That was the case tonight with Bart, a guy I met at a previous speed dating event and who turned out to be a “mutual match” (we both checked off each others’ names as possible dates, then exchanged a few emails until it petered out). We greeted each other like old army buddies, and he spent tonight’s five minute date telling me about his mother’s health problems. I checked him off just for laughs, and I’m sure he’ll check me off too, although I am certain we will never actually go out on a date. There is a certain comfort in knowing you can “sort of, kind of” like someone and nothing more has to come of it. Perhaps Bart and I will have the See You in September of speed dating relationships, running into each other at events all over town.
Fourth, I should amend my statement about there being NO one interesting there and admit that there was one super-cutie that had it all. We’ll call him James. He was my first date, and his smile lit up his face until the spark of the little boy shone through. We’re talking seriously cute. Two years older than me, full head of beautiful wavy hair, looking hot in a dark shirt and dress pants with utterly kissable lips that completely distracted me while he talked. And not only cute but able to bandy back and forth, get my sarcasm, talk current events and laugh at himself and at me.
When he was walked over to me, he introduced himself and asked if I wanted anything to eat (then went to get it for me. Bonus points if you feed me). Then he ribbed me about being the last one to walk into the event, saying, “I asked myself, who is this hot girl who is walking in at the last minute?” (Oh, major points, James. Major points for calling me hot). After our five minutes were over, he walked away to the next date and I was sorry to see him go. Then, about 5 dates in, he came back and jumped the line to have another “date” with me even thought he wasn’t supposed to.
The only weird thing is that during this second date he said, “Boy, am I glad no one is grabbing me tonight.”
I asked, “Why, is it a common occurrence for you to be getting grabbed at speed dating?”
“I don’t know. I’ve only been speed dating twice, and at the first one I wound up with someone who I was in a relationship with for a year, and the second there was this girl who was all over me.” It was a little weird, but not creepy, and I couldn’t read if he was being serious or just trying to raise his stock. To be truthful, I looked around for him at the end of the event (I’ve been known to snag an impromptu date right at the end of a speed dating event, when most people are awkwardly milling about wondering if they might score), but he was gone.
The real wonder of speed dating is not the James in the crowd, but the you you can be when trying 15 different people on for size. Am I the world traveler who will go with the finance guy on his next trip to Thailand? The woman who will learn Aikido and talk Buddhism with that nice, quiet lawyer? The woman who will love to argue politics with the guy who is trying to catch a peek down my blouse? It’s like a costume party. During speed dating, I can be all those women.
At least for five minutes.
Highest clicked-on posts:
Plenty of Fish Chats – I Think My Eyeballs are Bleeding
Date # 12 – Back-up Date is DTF. Am I?
Catch-up on all the dates:
Date # 1 – Bill a/k/a Angry Guy
Date # 2 – Little Johnny
Dates # 3-10 – Speed Dating
Date # 11 – George, Mr. Perfectly-Nice, Not-For-Me
Date # 12 – Back-up Date is DTF. Am I?
Date # 13 – The Scariest of All
Date # 14 – Just What’s Your Angle Buddy?
Date # 15 – A Threesome
Date # 16 – What He Said
Date # 17 – Playing the Numbers
More about the 51 First Dates After Divorce Project
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